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Rent Boy 4

Written By: Sex Writer - Feb• 07•11
This entry is part 5 of 8 in the series Rent Boy

Chapter 4

Josh looked over at Darren, and he could see the fear in his chestnut eyes. Well, he asked for the details, and Billy was a big part of who Josh had become. He took another long pull of the brandy, letting the hot liquid run down his throat, warming him, trying to warm that one cold isolated spot deep in his heart.

He knew it was futile, nothing could ever warm that spot again, could ever bring it back to the land of the living. He tried, and for a long time he tried everything he could, from Rum, Bourbon, to Cocaine and Heroin and everything imagined in between. Nothing ever worked and finally he woke up to that, accepted it, but on nights like this, well he still felt like he had to try.

The sun was starting to beat down on their necks as the pick up entered the outskirts of San Francisco. Josh stirred in his seat, still sullen and angry. It really wasn’t his fault but he just didn’t have the way with words that he wished. Now Billy was ticked at him and unlike earlier battles, this one seemed destined to last for some time yet.

“You gonna talk to me anymore or am I doomed to the silent treatment?”

Josh waited, hoping that the start of a new day and an obvious end to their long journey would make a change. He kept his head lowered, but glanced every few seconds at Billy. The way his hair flowed from the draft of the open window made him itch with desire. His groin was always popping up when he caught Billy unawares.

“You shouldn’t have done it Josh. I told you I would look after it all.”

“Look Billy, it was stupid, okay? But shit, I can’t always let you do it all… I mean it isn’t fair… to you or me, can’t you see that?”

“All I know is I told you no and you went behind my back and did it anyway. Haven’t I managed well enough for us until now? HAVEN’T I?”

“Yes Billy you have… please try to understand. I don’t want to fight with you, I… well… I love you.”

Billy continued with his driving, switching lanes as he listened to Josh’s halting attempt at reconciliation. He knew he was acting rather stubborn about it, but shit he was the provider and well, Josh just wasn’t some casual play thing. He was real, and somehow the thought of him adding to the resources just didn’t sit with him.

“Look Josh, I guess I can sort of understand… but you have to look at my side… ah shit, look Josh, I love you like I have never loved another person for a long, long time. It just isn’t in me to let you do that… call it some stupid macho thing in me or whatever, okay?”

“I know Billy and I do understand… but…”

“Yeah but… look, let’s just drop it for now, okay?

“We’re here and we have to get a place to stay and everything, and well, look… we’ll talk about this after we get a place, I promise… okay?”

“Okay Billy.”

What could he say? Josh thought about it, and knew that it was Billy’s way of putting it off, hoping it would go away. Just like he put off dealing with his cough, until it was almost too late. Well, this time he would let it go, but he wouldn’t drop it. When they did find a place and get settled, he was going to make sure that the subject came up again, no matter what.

It wasn’t that he liked what he did either. He hated it and if it hadn’t been for the thoughts of Billy he most likely wouldn’t have been able to have done it. Strange, how his mind flashed back to Billy when he was doing it. It almost made the experience palatable and it did impress Harry; in fact it impressed him so much that he got a $25 tip. Now that didn’t happen often, no matter what Billy said.

They pulled into an ARCO station and Billy parked in front of the pumps. He looked out at the San Francisco skyline ahead, and his heart skipped a beat. Well, he was back home, to his adopted city and he was happy. Not only had he survived a trip back home, but he was here with a chance to have a real life. Billy looked over to Josh and smiled, and saw the love in Josh’s blue eyes. ‘God he was cute,’ he thought as he started to unbuckle and get out.

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