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Rent Boy – Chapter 10

Written By: Sex Writer - Sep• 13•07

Chapter 10

The whole world is a dream, and death the interpreter.

Yiddish Proverb Gordon sat in his chair, his heart heavy with the nights darkness. He glanced upwards, towards the mantle place and he saw his rose, no longer shimmering in the reflection of love. It looked tarnished now, sad and alone on a place of honour. His eyes wandered over to the other chair, where only a few days ago sat Josh. Now it too was empty and his heart ached more.

gaystoryman “OH BILLY WHY?” he cried out into the night, his shrill voice bouncing off the walls as he looked upwards.

“DAMN YOU,” he shouted, his fist raised high in anger and the fat around his jaws trembling with his inner rage. His anger real, his hurt deep, as he struggled with it all, knowing that there was no answers for him, once more.

Life was as he thought, nothing but a cruel joke and the brief time of joy he had felt, gone forever, was merely a tease to torment him, to make his latter days on this planet even more painful than he could ever imagine. How could anyone professing to be a loving being do such a horrible thing as what God had done to him.

His eyes lifted upwards, smouldering with his anger as he looked for an answer. He saw nothing upwards, and he rose slowly from his chair, glancing at the empty one by the fireplace. He could almost see them there, sitting, Billy resting on the soft leather, Josh at his feet, his young blonde face turned upwards gazing with nothing but love into the dark spirited face of his young lover. He had it all, and now he too was lost in this time called living.

He felt every year of his long life as he struggled to walk and get away from this room, this place that had known so much joy only a few short days ago, and now was a haunting reminder of just how cruel life and its creator was.

His eyes were misted, tears always lurking behind, ready to pour at a moments notice, at a sudden thought or a fleeting glance. The pool was glimmering in the star lit night as he found himself staring at the dark water. He could see the stars reflecting their luminous blues in the water.

Gordon sat, his dark suit rumpled with its long wear and his constant pacing throughout the afternoon and now evening. His tie was askew, his shirt collar open exposing his hairy chest to the night’s breeze. Once again he glanced upwards, his eyes now misted deeper in their grief as images of sweet Billy frolicking in the pool with Josh flashed before him.

His heart was near breaking, he knew that, and yet it wouldn’t stop, it wouldn’t end his pain or his misery as he hoped it would. Instead it kept beating, kept him living, kept him remembering all the sadness of the day.

“Why?” he asked, his eyes heaven turned.

“Why take such a young person when you could of easily taken me? Surely you don’t need him, he had so much to offer, so much to give, why? Oh why dear God are you so cruel to us? Isn’t it enough that we pray to you, look to you for our salvation? Is this how you repay us? Oh damn it… why can’t I see? Why am I so lost and so destined to be alone? Have I really been that bad of a person all these years? Couldn’t you have simply taken me? Why him? Why now? Don’t you care?”

Gordon’s words found no answers, the silence of the night continued unabated as he sat there, his head now buried in his wrinkled aged hands. The tears flowed once more and his heart continued to ache, to torment him with its sorrow as it missed the warmth that was Billy.

The harsh ringing of the phone made him start. He was startled by its incessant noise, and angry at whoever was on the other end. Couldn’t they leave him alone in his grief ? Why did people need to call him, to tell him how sorry they were for his loss? Damn it, didn’t they know that their words meant nothing that their prattling voices had no meaning to him, not now, not ever? Couldn’t they just leave him alone, let him suffer in solitude?

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